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Saturday, June 19, 2010

Past life and Relationships

I was talking to one of my friend some few months ago, when he started telling me what he is going through in his relationship with a girl he loves now. He has been struggling with trust and keeping secrets in his relationship. I have seen this kind of situation in many friends and myself too.
Michael is a young man in his mid 20s who has had what we call “a wonderful” youthful life. When he was in high school and college, Michael made sure that the whole campus knows that there was Michael. He had partied and used beer to the tops and probably used illegal herbs and drugs. But all that was back then, when there was time and friends and childhood – if I may call it. We all know that when we are in College, in our late teen years and early twenties, we do what pleases us at that particular moment and we justify our acts by blaming stressful classes and peer pressure. Then we take that as a license to have so many sex partners and whatever we do. But who hasn’t done anything like this? I mean one or two mentioned here, or perhaps all of these. The people most affected with these acts are guys. Well, I think you are wondering where this issue is going. Michael (with his past like that), he has found a new girlfriend and he is considering settling down. Because of his past, he is (I would say) scared or maybe shy to tell his new sweetheart for fear that she may not take past “sins”. After dating the girl for some months, Michael’s girl has started to hear so many stories about Michael’s past life. The question is; should Michael explain to his girl about his past life no matter how bad his life had been? Or should he let the girl go because there seem to be no trust anymore from the girl? Maybe Michael can just forget about this relationship, maybe he should just start a new life with a stranger who doesn’t know about his past and try his best to be the best boyfriend now and bury all his past “sins”.
There are so many of us out there with a life like Michael’s. So many people know our stories from college and high school. When it comes to guys, this becomes a big issue when they want to pursue a girl for marriage. I once was faced with a similar situation. A guy a lot of people knew as a “bad guy” because of the way he used to drink and sleep around in college, told me that he has changed and I believed him, I still do. But how many people from my college will associate me with a guy like that even if I say that he has changed? Probably none. Michael realize that his life has not been a good one, but how many have lived a perfect life through and through in this millennium? We all have messed up in one way or another. There are other people who say that they have lived a clean life but am sure that s between them and their God and no one can argue with them.
I believe that if Michael was strong enough in the beginning of his relationship to tell his girlfriend about his past life, it could not have been hard for this girl to understand. It can be hard yes depending on how bad or rather worse somebody’s life has been and to take that person into your life. It is like taking a worn out cloth on you. Yes it hurts. But I believe that with love, nothing matters, not even what people say. I believe that If Michael had told his girl about his past life, the girl could have swallowed the bitter pill with flavored water than now that she is swallowing it with plain water because the story is coming from a rival who not only has hatred, but also is jealous of her. And the issue could also have lightened Michael’s heart and unburdened him of the “secrets” weight he is carrying.
I asked Michael, “if you walk out of the relationship for a new one, how long are you going to run away from your problems?” Then I told him to face the girl and talk this issue out no matter how bad his life had been, or how “sinful” it may sound in the ears of other people.
This applies to guys too. Some girls that we know or meet in our lives have done things that we may not want to hear about. But here is my opinion. Think of them as your own brothers, sisters, cousins, nieces and nephews. Girls, give these guys a chance, the same with guys. If we look at somebody’s past life, it does not mean that they are bad people or reckless or anything related to that, sometimes we do what we do for fun, and sometimes people do what they do to forget some worries or something similar to that.
Michael is not my friend’s name, I made it up for the story.
I can take comments

Thursday, June 10, 2010

World Cup and other activities

The Soccer World Cup has started and I get to hang out with friends and work on several things including the proposal and the business. Time to Party with the games