Will You Marry Me?

Hello my dear friends,

Today I have come with a question mainly to men. The question can also apply to women to some extent, but I would like to research more on mens' side.
I have been wondering when it comes to popping the question, "will you marry me?" It is so obvious that the question comes generally from men which I, personally, am fine with. But my question is, when is the right time for men to pop that question? Do we, women, have to ask the men when they can put a ring on our finger, or we just have to wait for them and when they are ready they will ask us? Or, do men need to be told when the right time is, "because they never are ready"? It is funny I know, how guys differ on the matter. Some say that if women don't keep on asking, it means they (women) are not serious with the relationship, and some say that, women should just let them be, when they are ready they will pop the question. I haven't found the right answer yet but I feel like it doesn't matter who pushes for the engagement, as long as the two people are ready and love each other, but how can you tell that your friend is ready or not? It is all up to the two individuals I suppose. Who ever is ready can start the ball rolling but that doesn't mean that when a girl asks when you gonna propose she is being pushy or she is desperate, maybe she thinks that by doing so will help both of you keep the relationship or avoid other temptations.
To girls; it is sometimes, however, the right thing to let the guys decide "when" by themselves, unless maybe you have dated for years then you would want to know if the thing will ever come to a serious commitment. And men, I think, sometimes, it is not safe to date for so long; when you know, you just know, so just face it and propose to that girl, after all, no one is perfect, what ever you are waiting to see in your partner, you can as well let them know what you expect them to do and cut the chase - well, this whole issue does not apply to cohabiting couples.

Look out for another article next week
You can ask me questions on what my opinion is on other issues too - Economic, Politics, Religious, Relationships, Culture and the like....

Past life and Relationships

I was talking to one of my friend some few months ago, when he started telling me what he is going through in his relationship with a girl he loves now. He has been struggling with trust and keeping secrets in his relationship. I have seen this kind of situation in many friends and myself too.
Michael is a young man in his mid 20s who has had what we call “a wonderful” youthful life. When he was in high school and college, Michael made sure that the whole campus knows that there was Michael. He had partied and used beer to the tops and probably used illegal herbs and drugs. But all that was back then, when there was time and friends and childhood – if I may call it. We all know that when we are in College, in our late teen years and early twenties, we do what pleases us at that particular moment and we justify our acts by blaming stressful classes and peer pressure. Then we take that as a license to have so many sex partners and whatever we do. But who hasn’t done anything like this? I mean one or two mentioned here, or perhaps all of these. The people most affected with these acts are guys. Well, I think you are wondering where this issue is going. Michael (with his past like that), he has found a new girlfriend and he is considering settling down. Because of his past, he is (I would say) scared or maybe shy to tell his new sweetheart for fear that she may not take past “sins”. After dating the girl for some months, Michael’s girl has started to hear so many stories about Michael’s past life. The question is; should Michael explain to his girl about his past life no matter how bad his life had been? Or should he let the girl go because there seem to be no trust anymore from the girl? Maybe Michael can just forget about this relationship, maybe he should just start a new life with a stranger who doesn’t know about his past and try his best to be the best boyfriend now and bury all his past “sins”.
There are so many of us out there with a life like Michael’s. So many people know our stories from college and high school. When it comes to guys, this becomes a big issue when they want to pursue a girl for marriage. I once was faced with a similar situation. A guy a lot of people knew as a “bad guy” because of the way he used to drink and sleep around in college, told me that he has changed and I believed him, I still do. But how many people from my college will associate me with a guy like that even if I say that he has changed? Probably none. Michael realize that his life has not been a good one, but how many have lived a perfect life through and through in this millennium? We all have messed up in one way or another. There are other people who say that they have lived a clean life but am sure that s between them and their God and no one can argue with them.
I believe that if Michael was strong enough in the beginning of his relationship to tell his girlfriend about his past life, it could not have been hard for this girl to understand. It can be hard yes depending on how bad or rather worse somebody’s life has been and to take that person into your life. It is like taking a worn out cloth on you. Yes it hurts. But I believe that with love, nothing matters, not even what people say. I believe that If Michael had told his girl about his past life, the girl could have swallowed the bitter pill with flavored water than now that she is swallowing it with plain water because the story is coming from a rival who not only has hatred, but also is jealous of her. And the issue could also have lightened Michael’s heart and unburdened him of the “secrets” weight he is carrying.
I asked Michael, “if you walk out of the relationship for a new one, how long are you going to run away from your problems?” Then I told him to face the girl and talk this issue out no matter how bad his life had been, or how “sinful” it may sound in the ears of other people.
This applies to guys too. Some girls that we know or meet in our lives have done things that we may not want to hear about. But here is my opinion. Think of them as your own brothers, sisters, cousins, nieces and nephews. Girls, give these guys a chance, the same with guys. If we look at somebody’s past life, it does not mean that they are bad people or reckless or anything related to that, sometimes we do what we do for fun, and sometimes people do what they do to forget some worries or something similar to that.
Michael is not my friend’s name, I made it up for the story.
I can take comments

World Cup and other activities

The Soccer World Cup has started and I get to hang out with friends and work on several things including the proposal and the business. Time to Party with the games

Breast Cancer in Malawi

Ok, so, I have just created this group on Facebook, Breast Cancer in Malawi to help create awareness on the dangers of breast cancer. So far nothing is said in Malawi about breast cancer but I am certain that there are some breast cancer cases living among us, the reason why it is a silent topic, I have no clue. One reason could be lack of knowledge and lack of equipment for diagnosis. But even though there seem to be no publicity about this deadly type of cancer, I feel like we can still do something. Self examination, to begin with, can help early diagnosis and help save lives in most women and that's all it takes. Awareness campaigns will also help and that's what this is going for - sensitization to the entire Malawian nation. Let me get some ideas on what can be done, and information too on the cases currently available or if somebody knows someone who has or has died of breast cancer, that will help a lot.

Thanks
Naghaba3

Meet Naghaba3

There was a time in my life that I never even thought where I would be in 2010, or what I could be doing. In other words, I lacked sense of direction, I was a child with no vision, no set goals in life and so my life might have sluggished but they say that "the sky is the limit" so I believe that there are still so many opportunities out there that are waiting for me. I am a normal Malawian girl who has had a wonderful life and also the worst life in urban Malawian community as well as the rural community. Most people associate opportunities with luck, which I don't object, but my opportunities have come, normally out of hard work and by the grace of God. I have survived the temptations of the teenage era, not because I am smart, but because of people around me, friends and family, who were there for me with their eyes open not with the intentions to spy on my life but for the sake of love - I thank them all (too numerous to mention).
I have gone through what most of "us", girls in my generation have gone through, stress, depression, extreme fun you mention it, but in all that, I had my attitude clear, my conscience free but not to please myself, but honestly, to stay out of trouble. I tried, but ofcourse it didn't happen that way, I have been expelled from school once, yes, I know, it may sound too much for your ears, but this is one of the incidents that made my life so independent. After this I realized that I can be a leader, because I wasn't expelled from school for doing anything wrong, but rather by handling the situation being addressed immaturely, and that is what caused (what I call) exposure to my inner self that I didn't know I have, leadership. Fighting for rights and justice is not my thing unless when it is jeopardizing or endangering people's lives and that's me raising the moral standards, funny!
About this page, there is so much that will be happening on this blog, not only from me, but from selected friends too. To the visitors, your comments are welcome and you don't have to agree with me on everything, that the way we learn about ourselves and other people.
Welcome to proudlymalawian-naghaba3.blogspot.com
Naghaba3